My undergraduate degree is from a Christian college. Years ago, during a job interview with a progressive, secular anti-violence organization, the staff openly expressed concerns about my background. They weren’t sure how my faith would align with their mission.
I got the job because I looked them in the eye and assured them of a simple truth: My faith is for me.
It is for my girding. It is the foundation of my joy, my healing, my love, my empathy, and my hope. It is what keeps me standing when the work gets heavy. But it belongs to me.
I think people are hungry for that kind of clarity today. In a world full of cultural friction, people are looking for ways to encounter one another genuinely, without feeling like a casual interaction requires them to accompany you to a church service and a Bible study, too.
When I was in the church house, I might have been referred to as “Sister.” But when I stepped into the secular workplace, none of my co-workers ever knew that, and I never expected them to address me that way. I didn’t blast my gospel music in shared spaces because I didn’t want to create an awkward environment. I wanted to connect with my colleagues where we naturally connected—on our shared humanity and our mutual dedication to the work.
We see this same dynamic play out in multi-faith task forces dealing with domestic violence. You bring your foundation to the table to fuel your commitment, not to force everyone else to adopt your vocabulary, your traditions, or your worldviews.
Lately, it feels like society is struggling with this boundary. Whether the conversation is about religious beliefs or modern views on identity, forcing outsiders to adopt the internal language and rules of a specific group creates deep resentment. At the same time, shutting people down or silencing them for voicing their discomfort is never the answer. Silencing others is not a good thing when it comes to valid concerns.
True connection doesn’t require conformity. We don’t need to force our internal rules onto the public square to work together, live together, and respect one another. Whatever a person has, it is for them—and our shared spaces are for finding the common ground that moves us all forward.
Conformity is the act of changing your behavior, beliefs, or attitudes to match those of a specific group, authority, or societal norm. It happens when a person alters how they act or speak—either because they want to fit in (peer pressure) or because they are being forced to follow a rule, even if it doesn’t align with who they really are.
In short, conformity is about molding yourself to fit an outside standard.
In the King James Version (KJV), it reads:
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
- For the Individual: The Apostle Paul is telling believers that their internal foundation—their mind, their spirit, their transformation—is what matters. You do not need to reshape yourself to fit the mold of whatever culture or society is demanding at the moment. Your anchoring is internal.
- For the Public Square: Historically, this verse has been a reminder that true faith and identity cannot be manufactured by forcing outward compliance. When institutions or societies try to force everyone to look, speak, or act the same, they are demanding external conformity rather than respecting internal transformation.
None of this is saying “do not be different.” It is saying that whatever a person has is for them. True growth and connection come from an authentic internal foundation, not from forcing everyone around you to bow to the same external mold.
