There’s a story making the rounds online.
A pastor shared how he and his family went out to eat. Their waitress, he said, was dressed “inappropriately.” He felt uncomfortable—so much so that he not only mentioned it to the manager, but later wrote about it publicly.
But here’s what caught my heart:
This man’s family was right there at the table with him.
Food, laughter, fellowship, the beauty of shared presence—and yet his attention was captured not by gratitude, not by the people he loved most, but by a stranger simply doing her job.
He said the waitress stayed on his mind.
But shouldn’t his family have held his attention?
Shouldn’t God’s call on his life—to love, lead, and protect his home—have been louder than his distraction?
This isn’t about judgment. It’s about focus.
Some men have been taught that when they feel desire, discomfort, or temptation, it is women who must adjust. But scripture doesn’t teach that.
It teaches self-control.
It teaches responsibility.
It teaches the discipline of the mind and the guarding of the heart.
Lust is not managed by controlling women—it’s managed by controlling oneself.
So when a man turns a dinner out into a public commentary on a woman’s outfit, it’s worth asking:
Who really lost focus that night?
And what would have changed if he had just… looked back at his wife, smiled at his children, and chosen gratitude over judgment?
Because maybe—just maybe—God was more interested in his ability to cherish the moment than in the waitress’s dress code.
Men, the responsibility to turn your eyes, guard your thoughts, and honor your families is not a woman’s burden to carry.
It’s yours.
And to my sisters:
Don’t carry guilt that isn’t yours.
Don’t shrink yourself to manage someone else’s impulses.
You are not responsible for another person’s lack of discipline.
Keep your peace.
Keep your dignity.
Keep your focus on the One who sees your worth beyond appearance.
Because holiness isn’t found in policing others—it’s found in mastering ourselves.
