Sometimes, people of faith step so far into trying to “check both sides” that we drift away from the heart of God’s justice. We start analyzing, comparing, and balancing — the victim and the perpetrator — as though their actions weigh the same. But they don’t.
When someone harms another human being, it is not balance we need. It is truth.
Too often, when Survivors come forward, people of faith rush to soften the moment. We ask, “Well, what did she do?” or “Could it have been a misunderstanding?” or “Let’s not take sides.” But neutrality in the face of harm is not holiness — it’s avoidance. And avoidance has never healed a single wound.
When we refuse to name the harmdoer, we send a dangerous message: that people who cause pain can hide behind charm, position, or prayer. We leave Survivors wondering if they have come to the wrong place, if even the house of God will turn away when truth gets uncomfortable.
But healing begins when we speak honestly.
When we say aloud what was done.
When we remove the weight of false blame from the shoulders of the wounded.
Abusers often talk about the victim because they cannot bear to face what they did. They twist stories, shift blame, and convince others that cruelty was “reaction” and control was “love.” But people of faith must not echo that language. We are called to discernment — to recognize when words are being used to disguise sin.
We must name what happened. We must speak about the harmdoer. That’s how Survivors know they’ve finally found a place of truth, compassion, and safety — a place where the shame belongs to the one who did the harm, and to those who helped them hide it.
For people of faith, silence and neutrality are not virtues when someone has been harmed. Justice is. Truth is. Courage is.
Because no one deserves to be harmed. Ever.
Prayer / Affirmation
Lord, help me to love truth as much as peace.
When harm is done, let me not confuse kindness with silence.
Give me the courage to say what is true, even when it shakes the room.
Help me to speak words that protect, not words that excuse.
Let my faith stand with the wounded,
and let my heart never call evil “misunderstanding.”
No one deserves to be harmed.
Not ever.
